The Trauma of Loving Lakeland

I love Lakeland.

However, sometimes I feel like Lakeland doesn't love me back.

All those smooth plastic and silicone products give me the same squicky feeling I get when looking at swimsuit models.

My cakes always leave bits behind in the tin and I have to use extra icing to hide the lumps in the top. My kitchen utensils are shoved in a mug with the handle broken off from the time I tried to shove too many things into the top rack of the dishwasher rather than do the washing up by hand. My tea towels don't match, I don't have a full set of matching 'company' dishes or cutlery, my pots and pans are scratched and dented from the aforementioned tendency to shove everything in the dishwasher and don't even get me started on the state of the pantry.

I feel like I'm a failure by Lakeland standards.

I have decided, therefore, to amend my heathen ways and shall henceforth live my life the Lakeland way. No drawer shall stay disheveled. No pan un-padded. My closets shall be clean and my garden groomed.

First things first - I need to make a list.

Lakeland don't seem to sell notepads.

Things that Baffle Me, Part 1

My father has an electric pepper mill. You press the button on top and it automatically grinds the pepper for you. And to make sure that you can see the pepper going onto your food, it has a light on it.

This is one of the things that baffles me about 'useful gadgets'. The overkill. I can understand the idea of an electric grinder. Arthritis shouldn't mean bland food. But a light?
Seriously?

A light.

On your pepper mill.

...If it is necessary for you to have a light in order to see
where to put the pepper you either a.) need to stop eating in the dark or b.) need to drink less before you eat. Condiment dispensers should not need landing landing lights for their cargo.