Collective Noun

Men in tuxedos look like penguins.




Henceforth they shall be known as MENguins.


The question is, what to call a group of them?


A Murder of Menguins – This sounds like the title of a cosy mystery set at a rural college where the dons are ruthlessly picked off one by one at various formal dinners. The murder would be solved by a young co-ed who has an obsession with grammar and alliteration.


A Munch of Menguins – Menguins on the march are usually on the way to a soiree of one kind or another where they will eat their way through half the world’s caviar supply and put several species of large mammal at risk of extinction. A ‘munch’ seems apt.


A Magnanimity of Menguins – A large number of soirees (see above) tend to be of the charitable kind.


Personally my vote is for a Munch of Menguins. What do you think? Other suggestions welcome!

Boswelox

I'm not opposed to moisturiser or to beauty regimens. What I am opposed to are the stupid names that cosmetics companies give the 'active ingredients' in their products. Stupid made up things like Boswelox. As if the marketing material wasn't bad enough already.

This is what multipharmacy.com has to say about L'oreal's anti wrinkle night cream:


Visibly corrects expression lines and wrinkles. Un-creases and rests facial expressions.

Duruing the day, when you smile, from or furrow your brow, the skin is subjected to repeated micro-ontractions which deepen expression lines and wrinkles (crow's feet forhead wrinkles and laughter lines). At night, when the skin is recuperating, it's the ideal moment to repair the impact of these micro-cotractions, expression lines and wrinkles, and rest faial features.


That sounds great - I'm going to need something to sort out the contractions - sorry ontractions (or is it cotractions?) caused by reading your horrible copy. There are so many errors in that paragraph I can't begin to snark on them all and my brow is definitely more furrowed now than it was when I started reading. A good proof-reader would go a long way to sorting out unwanted furrowing of the brow, but I will admit it would probably cost more than the cream.

The L'oreal laboratories have created wrinkles,

L'oreal created wrinkles?

the 1st wrinkle correct-ing creasing night cream with Boswelox, to visibly correct expression lines and wrinkles and rest facial expressions for a radiant skin upon waking.

Technological Innovation: Boswelox is breakthrough phyto-complex, combining boswellic extratct and manganese to counteract the micro-contractions the skin which are at the origin of wrinkles.

What is 'boswellic extract'? How do you extract it from Boswell exactly?

And does anyone else find it ironic that the biographer of a hypochondriac lexographer should lend his name to a made up ingredient that claims to treat a perfectly natural occurance?

To optimise the effectiveness of Wrinkle De-Crease, an application method hethod has been specially developed to help de-contract facial muscles, smooth features and provide an immediate sensation of well-being.

I get an immediate sense of well being by promising I'll never buy this product.

That Ain't Cromulent!

I saw a woman on the bus this morning whose T-shirt offered to 'Millionize' my eyes.

Yes that's right I said Millionize.

I have no idea what this means.